Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Praise Jesus! Ted Haggard Has Been Saved!

It is being reported that ex-minister Ted Haggard has been miraculously cured of homosexuality. Apparently because his sexual acts were with a prostitute named Mike Jones, that means he was simply acting out and is completely heterosexual.

From the Associated Press:

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."


I would laugh if this story wasn't so completely pathetic. The article goes on to say that Haggard and his wife are planning on pursuing master's degrees in psychology and will stick to secular work after being thrown out from the mega-church he started years ago in Colorado Springs.

So the denial goes on and Haggard believes that relocating to Missouri or Iowa will help him heal. Perhaps he will find a teacher that can convince him that it is okay to be exactly who you are, no matter what certain parts of society may think of you.