How About An M.T.A. Telethon?

With the doomsday budget officially passed by the M.T.A. and the State Senate has made it known they refuse to help straphangers we'll need new ideas to keep mass transit moving in New York City. So how about a telethon?

For All The Lawyers On Christmas

Props to Asinus Asinum Fricat at Daily Kos for this gem:

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mama"), and said Mama had retired for a sustained period of sleep. At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items.

He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.

Looks like Santa got away with that one!

One Day More For Barack

Hopefully you've seen Les Miserable before watching this but it is hilarious nonetheless:



For those that have seen the movie or play, the song is very appropriate nine days out from the election. Obama supporters, to the barricades! We shall win this fight!

Why Women Should Vote For McCain

Ah, so many good reasons to vote for McCain, right?



When McCain and Palin say "Country First" it really means putting women's rights dead last.

Sarah Silverman Wants You To Make The Great Schlep For Obama

Sarah Silverman wants you to make "The Great Schlep" for Barack Obama. So talk to your grandparents down there in Florida to avoid the bad butterflys and go vote for Barack Obama on November 4th!

Oh yeah, there are some very non-PC things in this video, so for the easily offended, beware.

How Does The GOP Vet Its Candidates?

I wonder if this was the shop McCain used before selecting Sarah Palin:

John McCain's Monopoly

I've always loved playing Monopoly, but John McCain think's this Chance card is for real:

Imagine If George Bush Realized What He's Done

Leave it to the masters at the Onion to dream about a day when George Bush wakes up to the collective nightmare he created:

Be Like Kanye....Or So The 6 Train Told Me

Life is always interesting in New York City and the advertisements in the subway reflect that....like this one on the 6 train today:



I had to a double-take when I saw this, and then snap a photo with my cellphone just to prove it was there. Sorry the resolution is a bit off, though it isn't bad for an old Treo.

Update (4:54 PM 7/10/08): Turns out Kanye is just trying to start a viral campaign with Absolut footing the bill.

Breaking News: Iranians Can Bake!!

George Bush might declare war over this alone, baking cookies is like screaming "Jihad!" in a crowded theater these days:

Your Daily McCain Moment

From the very talented JedReport:

Why I Am Voting Republican

There are just so many reasons to vote GOP this year:



I especially loved the kid that wants to go fight and die in Iran (along with thousands of others), so much patriotism yet so young. He'd do President McCain proud!

If Hillary Were Ten Years Old...

Could you imagine one of your fifth grade classmates being Hillary Clinton?

Warning: Extreme humor may ensue by clicking the play button, Hillary supporters be advised!

Young Hillary Clinton
Uploaded by 60Frames

Imagine If George Stephanopolous Was Alive In 1860

It is a scary thought, at least for the people that lived back then. The tumultuous political and societal landscape of that era was vitally important and every event was critical to the fate of the nation. The Lincoln-Douglas debates signified the seriousness of the moment and the eloquence of each candidate was nothing short of extraordinary. Now imagine if George Stephanopolous and Charlie Gibson moderated that debate, how terrible would it have turned out?

From Obsidian Wings:

LINCOLN: Thank you very much, Charlie and George, and thanks to all in the audience and who are out there. I appear before you today for the purpose of discussing the leading political topics which now agitate the public mind.

We are now far into the fifth year since a policy was initiated with the avowed object, and confident promise, of putting an end to slavery agitation. Under the operation of that policy, that agitation has not only not ceased, but has constantly augmented.

STEPHANOPOULOS: I’m sorry to interrupt, but do you think Mr. Douglas loves America as much you do?

LINCOLN: Sure I do.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But who loves America more?

LINCOLN: I’d prefer to get on with my opening statement George.

STEPHANOPOULOS: If your love for America were eight apples, how many apples would Senator Douglas’s love be?

LINCOLN: Eight.

Yeah that sounds about right, circa 1860 style. Now if only we could get back to the level of debate we had back then for today's debate, how much more informed Americans would be about the candidates instead of what The National Enquirer ABC thinks America cares about.

Bloggers Against Sweatshops

You may have seen that piece in the news about how hard bloggers are worked in this incessant nonstop age of news and information. While the Times forgot that bloggers might just be human, Barely Political took it a step farther to mock the traditional media's attempt at profiling the blogger community:

How Albany Really Works, Puppet Show Style

Politicians have trouble telling New Yorkers how the system works up in Albany, except for Brian Keeler and a few others. So to combat the tight-lipped legislators we have three little stick puppets who can really shed some light on the process of how the budget is made.

Finally, A Hillary Clinton Ad I Can Get Behind!

I Apologize Senator Clinton

Clearly by watching the photoshopped video, I can see that you were indeed in grave danger, and showed true leadership over in Bosnia twelve years ago. Again, so sorry, you are extremely brave.

McCain's Bus Gets A Makeover

Ah, now that's more like it:

Eco-Friendly Torture

I can almost see this being replayed as the McLaughlin report, or perhaps on Tweety's show:


In The Know: How Can We Make The War In Iraq More Eco-Friendly?

Sick and twisted yes, but definitely funny.