You Know, Huckabee Really Is Crazy

He seems to be a "likeable enough" guy on the outside, good smile, can be funny in front of a crowd stuff. Though a problem arises when you start to scratch the surface....he is just plain crazy. Forget what he Joe Scarborough about cooking squirrel in his college dorm room (ah, the good ol'days). I'm talking about the really crazy stuff, things that can affect the lives of not only squirrels but human beings as well.

From TPM:

Huck, in elaborating on his views that the Constitution should be subjected to Biblical standards, had just wrapped up a discussion of the fact that marriage has meant "a man and a woman in a relationship for life." With this context firmly established, this exchange followed:

QUESTIONER: Is it your goal to bring the Constitution into strict conformity with the Bible? Some people would consider that a kind of dangerous undertaking, particularly given the variety of biblical interpretations.

HUCKABEE: Well, I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal. Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again. I think the radical position is to make a change in what’s been historic.

That's pretty clear cut. Changing the definition of marriage so it can mean "two men" or "two women" is equivalent to changing it to mean "a man and an animal." No ambiguity here whatsoever.

Are you kidding me? Does this man believe what he is saying here? Unfortunately, yes, Huck comes straight from the crazy movement, those evangelical bastards (not all evangelicals mind you) that want to impose their version of god's will on us all, democracy be damned to hell. I don't know what those Iowan elephants were thinking, but I sure hope that the American electorate understands what they are doing when they vote for him, whether it is in a primary or (gasp!) a general election.

Bombing The Terrorists Gay

It was recently uncovered that the military had considered developing a non-lethal bomb that would theoretically have the power to turn enemy combatants into homosexuals. The idea was to release a gas filled with hormones that made soldiers irresistibly attracted to one another so that they wouldn't be interested in fighting.

This ridiculousness was developed by an Air Force lab, requesting $7.5 million for the project. The military says it had denied the project outright and the fact is they did not approve the expenditure. However, the Pentagon does not let on how quickly the idiocy was banished to the R&D archives.

From Ehrensteinland:

“The Department of Defense is committed to identifying, researching and developing non-lethal weapons that will support our men and women in uniform,” said a DOD spokesperson, who indicated that the “gay bomb” idea was quickly dismissed.

However, Hammond said the government records he obtained suggest the military gave the plan much stronger consideration than it has acknowledged.

“The truth of the matter is it would have never come to my attention if it was dismissed at the time it was proposed,” he said. “In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider.”

GLBT groups were both amused and outraged at the news. To think for even a moment that homosexuality can be induced and discouraging for soldiers to fight a battle is indicative of a culture in the military brass that shows how ignorant they are of such matters. One of the first heroes of the current war who was injured over there came out to the public not too long ago. Further, homosexual behavior has a long history when it comes to fighting wars. Here in 2007, it is absurd that this project got off the ground for only a moment.

Praise Jesus! Ted Haggard Has Been Saved!

It is being reported that ex-minister Ted Haggard has been miraculously cured of homosexuality. Apparently because his sexual acts were with a prostitute named Mike Jones, that means he was simply acting out and is completely heterosexual.

From the Associated Press:

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."

I would laugh if this story wasn't so completely pathetic. The article goes on to say that Haggard and his wife are planning on pursuing master's degrees in psychology and will stick to secular work after being thrown out from the mega-church he started years ago in Colorado Springs.

So the denial goes on and Haggard believes that relocating to Missouri or Iowa will help him heal. Perhaps he will find a teacher that can convince him that it is okay to be exactly who you are, no matter what certain parts of society may think of you.